The past couple of days, today especially, I have felt like the biggest jerk and the worst of friend. And... I can't exactly figure out why. Yes, I have been really sick, sicker than i've been in a long time, but that doesn't exactly give me an excuse. I haven't tried to avoid you, Natalia or Kirsten, at all. I've just been busy sleeping all week trying to get my energy up. I'm sorry I couldn't spend more time with you guys on my birthday, I really am. Natalia, I have wanted to see you for so long. But things just keep coming up. You came home from Corpus Christi and I got to see you for a total of 30 min in over a week. I don't like that. And to the rest of the Gang, I am SO SO SO sorry that I couldn't be up there this weekend. I really wanted to be there for David for his Court of Honor. I really wanted to be there for Jessica during her loss. I really wanted to be there for Jared and make sure he's okay, because you never really can tell unless you're there in person. I really wanted to be there for Thomas, to help encourage him throughout his stress and in his schooling. I really wanted to get Kirsten up to Heather so they could have a good time together. I want SO BADLY to be there for all of you. But also, I want to be there for all of you, for ME. When I'm with you guys, ANY of you, I feel so much better about everything. My future looks merrier and brighter. I actually have hope. This weekend was something I have been looking forward to for a while now. Because I knew that it was the last time that I was going to be able to see any of you, until... the end of may at the earliest. And... like usual, when something comes up that's important to me, something else comes up preventing it. My stupid body had to get in the way. And I hate it. To me, It wasn't a good enough reason to miss out on it. But... what i've learned throughout the past few years... is that "Life Sucks. And Then You Die." Yep. It does. Life sucks, but the reward in the end will be great. Now, it may have only been 3 weeks since i've seen those in Arkansas, and Oklahoma... but trust me, the time is long past due that I see you again. And it doesn't look like that will happen any time soon.

To the Trotters, Scotts, and Batemons: I hope you all had an amazing time tonight. Really I do. Be sure to have a GREAT spring break!
To the Mays: I will see you soon! (well... if I ever get better that is) Oh! And Natalia, this was all referring to you too... just in case you didn't figure that out.


I love you all! Be safe!