"Adam fell that men might be. And men are, that they might have joy." - 2 Nephi 2:25

This scripture will forever remind me that we are responsible for our own actions. We can't blame our problems on the people around us. "Men are, that they might have joy." It is something we have to choose. To be truly happy, we have to realize that every trial, every problem, that comes our way is OURS. It is not to be blamed or put on anyone. It comes, not from any person, but it is to be thought of as a test. And we must pass it as faithfully as possible. Bad things happen to good people, I know. It's hard, it hurts, and I don't like it. But it happens. But the Lord would never give us more than we can handle. Never. Though it may seem like He does. He's already proven to us a million times over just how much He loves us. And when things happen, it's our time to prove that we love Him in return. Love him enough to not forsake Him. Enough to want to return to Him.

Take a look at Job. Yes, from the Bible. That man, suffered SO much pain and sorrow in such a short period of time. Satan hit him with everything, except death itself. If you want to know what sadness is, take a look at him. What is so amazing about Job is that though so many things happened, he not once forsake Heavely Father. NOT ONCE. He knew that things were happening for a reason, though he didn't know what. In the end, God blessed him with more than he had before, for his faithfulness. We can all learn a lesson from that.

We should not victimize ourselves. For though we may always feel like the victim, sometimes (though majority of the time we don't realize it) we are the bad guy. So I'm sorry, for all those times I've been the bad guy, for all the times I've put the blame on another human being. Remember that the blame does not always have to be placed. Think about your actions, and how, as well as whom, they hurt. Then change yourself for the better. Surround yourself with people who constantly uplift you. Don't let anyones negativity, bring you down... no matter how long that relationship has lasted already. Be the best you. And think of others before yourself. Remember that "Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something is more important than fear." - Ambrose Redmoon. Stop thinking of yourself, that's the easy way out. Have the courage to start thinking of others. Think about your family. Think about your friends. And think about the random strangers that you meet from day to day. When you do that, you will begin to learn what true happiness is. We acheive our own happiness, with the help of the Lord. We cannot base it on the people around us, or any one person. Oh sure it may work, but only for a short period of time. No, we make our own happiness. So, good luck! Stay strong, and be safe.

P.S. A helpful hint: It starts in the home ;)

I love my life - enough said

So this is going to be a really short blog because I don't really have time to write a long one. But be assured, everyone who reads this, that I love my life, and I am happy with where it's going. I have NO IDEA what the future will hold, but I know that I will be okay with whatever happens, whether it be good or bad. I can't wait! I love you all, please always remember that. When you need me, I will be ready and waiting.

Storm

"Storm"
by Lifehouse

How long have I been in this storm?
So overwhelmed by the ocean's shapeless form
Water's getting harder to tread
With these waves crashing over my head

If I could just see you
Everything would be all right
If I'd see you
This darkness would turn to light

And I will walk on water
And you will catch me if I fall
And I will get lost into your eyes
I know everything will be alright
I know everything is alright

I know you didn't bring me out here to drown
So why am I ten feet under and upside down
Barely surviving has become my purpose
Because I'm so used to living underneath the surface

If I could just see you
Everything would be all right
If i'd see you
This darkness would turn to light

And I will walk on water
And you will catch me if I fall
And I know everything will be alright
I know everything will be alright

I've realized throughout these past few years, that EVERYONE has storms. They have points in their lives where things will seem the darkest. That that 'storm' has hit. This song, Storm, has been in my head for literally every moment the past three days. I have listened to it over 50 times, not including it constantly being on repeat in my head. Now, normally by this time the song would have become extremely annoying... but not this time. It's so simple, yet expresses just about everything that I have felt this past week. I have had many a storm in my life. But at this point in time, I am so utterly and completely happy. And I don't really have reason to be, but I don't have reason not to be."I know everything will be alright, I know everything is alright." I'm happy, and yet I've felt something underneath it all. A Storm has been building. Not a breakdown or angry kind of storm, but more of a peaceful, calm storm. Sort of like the equivalent of a spring rain. This past Saturday night, as I kneeled down to pray before I went to bed, I was able to just let it all out for the first time in about a month. I mean, I pray every night... but it's just felt mechanical. This prayer was the prayer of someone in need. I needed this underlying pain to be lifted. I needed help dismissing my own little storm. And as I let it all out, I really did let it all out. Lately, i've found it hard to cry anything more than just tearing up... which is really unusual for me. I'm a cry baby. But I did. For the first time in about two months, I could cry. And you know what? It felt... nice. I felt that burden slowly being lifted off my shoulders. It'll take time- time heals- but it'll all be better. What i've also learned throughout these past few years, is that at the end of every storm, is a light. One of the brightest and most beautiful lights. The sun shines, the sky is clear. And... it's peaceful.

"But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer." -Sam, LotR

My Favorite Person

Gordon B. Hinckley really is one of my favorite people. I'm glad to say that at some of the most vital times in my life, he was the one who's words I could listen to. I miss him dearly, though I am glad that we have another cool prophet, Thomas S. Monson. So to better remember him, here are my favorite quotes by Pres. Hinckley, the ones that I learned and grew from (and be sure to follow the link I posted at the bottom and watch the video):




“Faith in something greater than ourselves enables us to do what we have said we'll do, to press forward when we are tired or hurt or afraid, to keep going when the challenge seems overwhelming and the course is entirely uncertain.”


“Our lives are the only meaningful expression of what we believe and in Whom we believe. And the only real wealth, for any of us, lies in our faith.”


“This is my prayer for all of us—'Lord, increase our faith.' Increase our faith to bridge the chasms of uncertainty and doubt. . . . Grant us faith to look beyond the problems of the moment to the miracles of the future. . . . Give us faith to do what is right and let the consequence follow.”


"Life is just like an old time rail journey ... delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders, and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling bursts of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride."


"My plea is that we stop seeking out the storms and enjoy more fully the sunlight. I am suggesting that as we go through life we 'accentuate the positive.' I am asking that we look a little deeper for the good, that we still our voices of insult and sarcasm, that we more generously compliment and endorse virtue and effort."


"It isn't as bad as you sometimes think it is. It all works out. Don't worry. i say that to myself every morning. It will all work out. If you do your best, it will all work out. Put your trust in God and move forward with faith and confidence in the future. The Lord will not forsake us,...if we put our trust in Him, if we pray to Him, if we live worthy of His blessings, He will hear our prayers."


"Go forward in life with a twinkle in your eye and a smile on your face, but with great purpose in heart."



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3KmOU9trlmY

Be Still, My Soul

Last sunday was ward conference and this hymn, Be Still, My Soul, was the closing hymn.

The past few weeks have been kind of hard for me... spiritually, as well as mentally. I can feel myself unconsciously pushing myself away from the ones that I love most. And I hate it. But at times I think that its for the best. Then, a couple weeks ago I was talking to a friend of mine and we were basically giving each other advice about things. She said that I need to give it my everything. To put my whole heart into it. And things will work out the way they are supposed to work out. --Those words were a great comfort to me. And now, when ever I start to feel that doubt enter my mind, those words automatically hit me. I'm still trying to not distance myself... but that's still a work in progress.

Well this hymn that we sang, has stuck with me since Sunday. Every day this past week I've caught myself thinking about it... even singing it. Here are the lyrics (the music's beautiful too, so if you have a hymn book and can play, play this song):

Be Still, My Soul, Hymn no. 124

Be still, my soul: The Lord is on thy side; With patience bear thy cross of grief or pain. Leave to thy God to order and provide; In ev’ry change he faithful will remain. Be still, my soul: Thy best, thy heav’nly Friend Thru thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

Be still, my soul: Thy God doth undertake To guide the future as he has the past. Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake; All now mysterious shall be bright at last. Be still, my soul: The waves and winds still know His voice who ruled them while he dwelt below.

Be still, my soul: The hour is hast’ning on When we shall be forever with the Lord,When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone, Sorrow forgot, love’s purest joys restored. Be still, my soul: When change and tears are past, All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.

So if you really read the lyrics to this, you can probably understand the joy and comfort it's helped bring me. I know that because "Thy God doth undertake To guide the future as he has the past", because He has already helped guide me in my past, that He will help guide me in my future as well. I know He loves me, and I so greatly wish I could express how much I love Him. I cant wait... I cant wait for the day when we are all together, rejoicing in the Lord. When we are all finally happy with the knowledge that we WILL be with Him again.

The hour is hast’ning on When we shall be forever with the Lord,When
disappointment, grief, and fear are gone, Sorrow forgot, love’s purest joys restored. Be still, my soul: When change and tears are past, All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.

The History of Hope

So I decided to be really random and type a work into google and click the "I'm Feeling Lucky" button. That word just so happened to be Hope. A word... that I really need at this point in time. And the result of that click of the button: Wikipedia.com. I really really like what it said. Especially in the history. This is what it said:



Hope is a belief in a positive outcome related to events and circumstances in one's life. Hope is the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best. [1] To hope is to wish for something with the expectation of the wish being fulfilled, a key condition in unrequited love. [2] Hopefulness is somewhat different from optimism in that hope is an emotional state, whereas optimism is a conclusion reached through a deliberate thought pattern that leads to a positive attitude.

When used in a religious context, hope carries a connotation of being aware of what Christians see as spiritual "truth"; see Hope (virtue). In Christian theology, hope is one of the three theological virtues (faith, hope, and charity), which are spiritual gifts of God. In contrast to the above, it is not a physical emotion but a spiritual grace. Hope is distinct from positive thinking, which refers to a therapeutic or systematic process used in psychology for reversing pessimism. The term false hope refers to a hope based entirely around a fantasy or an extremely unlikely outcome.


History:


Hope was personified in Greek mythology as Elpis. When Pandora opened Pandora's Box, she let out all the evils except one: hope. Apparently, the Greeks considered hope to be as dangerous as all the world's evils. But without hope to accompany all their troubles, humanity was filled with despair. It was a great relief when Pandora revisited her box and let out hope as well. It may be worthy to note that in the story, hope is represented as weakly leaving the box but is in effect far more potent than any of the major evils. In some faiths and religions of the world, hope plays a very important role. Hope can be passive in the sense of a wish, or active as a plan or idea, often against popular belief, with persistent, personal action to execute the plan or prove the idea. Consider a prisoner of war who never gives up hope for escape and, against the odds, plans and accomplishes this. By contrast, consider another prisoner who simply wishes or prays for freedom, or another who gives up all hope of freedom.

In Human, All Too Human, philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche argued that "Zeus did not want man to throw his life away, no matter how much the other evils might torment him, but rather to go on letting himself be tormented anew. To that end, he gives man hope. In truth, it is the most evil of evils because it prolongs man's torment." Emily Dickinson wrote in a poem that "'Hope' is the thing with feathers-- / That perches in the soul--."

The past couple of days, today especially, I have felt like the biggest jerk and the worst of friend. And... I can't exactly figure out why. Yes, I have been really sick, sicker than i've been in a long time, but that doesn't exactly give me an excuse. I haven't tried to avoid you, Natalia or Kirsten, at all. I've just been busy sleeping all week trying to get my energy up. I'm sorry I couldn't spend more time with you guys on my birthday, I really am. Natalia, I have wanted to see you for so long. But things just keep coming up. You came home from Corpus Christi and I got to see you for a total of 30 min in over a week. I don't like that. And to the rest of the Gang, I am SO SO SO sorry that I couldn't be up there this weekend. I really wanted to be there for David for his Court of Honor. I really wanted to be there for Jessica during her loss. I really wanted to be there for Jared and make sure he's okay, because you never really can tell unless you're there in person. I really wanted to be there for Thomas, to help encourage him throughout his stress and in his schooling. I really wanted to get Kirsten up to Heather so they could have a good time together. I want SO BADLY to be there for all of you. But also, I want to be there for all of you, for ME. When I'm with you guys, ANY of you, I feel so much better about everything. My future looks merrier and brighter. I actually have hope. This weekend was something I have been looking forward to for a while now. Because I knew that it was the last time that I was going to be able to see any of you, until... the end of may at the earliest. And... like usual, when something comes up that's important to me, something else comes up preventing it. My stupid body had to get in the way. And I hate it. To me, It wasn't a good enough reason to miss out on it. But... what i've learned throughout the past few years... is that "Life Sucks. And Then You Die." Yep. It does. Life sucks, but the reward in the end will be great. Now, it may have only been 3 weeks since i've seen those in Arkansas, and Oklahoma... but trust me, the time is long past due that I see you again. And it doesn't look like that will happen any time soon.

To the Trotters, Scotts, and Batemons: I hope you all had an amazing time tonight. Really I do. Be sure to have a GREAT spring break!
To the Mays: I will see you soon! (well... if I ever get better that is) Oh! And Natalia, this was all referring to you too... just in case you didn't figure that out.


I love you all! Be safe!